It Hurts to Overcome
by XEdwardXxXLoverX
Summary: Co-written by XxXGodsXxXMessengerXxX. Bella takes care of her narcoleptic brother Jasper and deals w/ Phil’s abuse. After 2 years they move to forks to live w/ Charlie. They befriend Edward and Alice, and together deal with their past and future. BXE AXJ
1. Chapter 1

**XxXGodsXxXMessengerXxX- (Angie) So, my sister ,****XEdwardXxXLoverX, and I decided to stay up all night on New Years...(cause it was past mid-night and everything) and ended up getting really bored. We ended up coming up with the idea of writing a story. But I mean really...who gets bored and decides to write a story like this?...no one other then us......here it is! Please review, it makes us smile...8D**

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Disclaimer - WE DON'T OWN TWILIGHT! but i do own this neat light thingy i got for christmas...yay me!  
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**PROLOGUE  
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The people we pass in our lives will ultimately affect our future. And for me, the people passed would surely lead to a negative ending. But after everything that happened I still had hope for a positive outcome. After all the trials and errors, I still believe there was some good left in the world. Even when everyone seemed to try their hardest to bring me down, I still believed.

I tried to make life as easy as possible for the people close to me, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to control. I could tell how this affected the ones I loved, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. The waves of depression and worry that constantly surrounded me didn't help my emotional state what so ever.

Watching the person I cared for the most suffer, I couldn't help but feel guilty. If anything I only caused her more pain. She constantly gave up everything to make me happy and enjoy life to the fullest. She did so much for me all the time, and I couldn't do anything to help her. So, right now as she lay on the hospital bed, weak and vulnerable, I couldn't help but feel like I caused it.

Looking at the one who has been with me through it all, is happily accepting the darkness that is calling her name. As I constantly try to help her I find my own personal and mental problems pulling me away from her and society.

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**CHAPTER ONE**

**_Bella_**

I'm getting tired, but I know I can't go to sleep yet. I have to keep an eye on Jasper. I know, I know, It sounds like I'm babying an 18 year old, but he needs me.

He thinks he doesn't need me, but he really does. I've kept him safe for the past two years that he has been diagnosed with narcolepsy.

I looked over at the seat next to me and saw his honey blonde hair had fallen onto his face as he had just gone under one of his 'sleeping spells'.

They usually don't last long – his longest one is only thirty minutes –, but I still worry about him.

We've been on this plane from Phoenix to Forks, Washington, for about three hours now. The flight itself is four hours long; and yes, I'm aware of the fact that he has plenty of time before I should even begin to worry, but I can't help it.

I have always been the one to look out for him when he was like this. Renee never really cared about anyone but Phil.

I shivered at just the thought of him. He was the reason for all of the problems in our life. Every sour moment I can think of, _his _face always appears. If Renee had never met him, it would have saved us a lot of strife.

I turned back over to look at Jasper again. He always looked so peaceful when he was asleep. Like, he didn't have to deal with the normal everyday problems that we had.

His usually creased eyebrows were relaxed. His perfectly angled nose took slow and steady deep breaths showing he was really in a deep sleep. As I kept looking at him I saw his eyes slowly begin to pry open.

Beautiful deep blue orbs came into view as I stared. His pale face smiled at me and I smiled back.

As I look at him, I feel the total opposite of how my facial expression appears. Pity and sadness run through my veins.

He always knows my true feelings, but can I really help it? Everything we have had to put up with, is it actually possible to feel something else when I look at him?

As he turns his face away from me, obviously seeing through my façade, I start feeling like shit because we both hate it.

Jasper turned his face away from mine and he sighed. "Don't" he barely muttered at me; making me sigh in return.

"You know I can't help it. I'm trying" I tried to whispered back, trying to apologize. He knows me so well I should have known that he would see past it…he always does.

"Do you know how much longer until we land in Port Angeles?" He asked quickly changing the subject. Not wanting to talk about his condition. I shook my head in response.

I called for a flight attendant, they should know. As we waited I looked over and just smiled at him. At first he just looked at me with a serious face…just staring at me. Stupid me was thinking he may be having another spell and my smile slowly starts to fade.

Then he throws a peanut at my face. One of those hard nasty coach peanuts, hitting me square in the nose.

My jaw dropped as he was still looking at me with a plain face. So I grabbed my bag of peanuts and started laughing. I start trying to open the bag and not being so successful in the process ripped the bag opened and the peanuts flew everywhere.

One, might I add, landing on the flight attendants forehead… I try to hide my giggles as Jasper turns around to see a very red lady.

"Why hello," Jasper said politely trying not to laugh. "I have a question, if you wouldn't mind answering." When he finished I had my head in my hands from laughter.

"What is so funny Bella? We are trying to have a conversation here, so if you would so please." He said making me laugh just a little harder, if possible.

"What is the question? I have other things I need to take care of and I don't have time for immature little kids." She spat back at the both of us.

"Well…If you must know that badly…The question was…Why do you smell so bad? I mean really…Ya stink." Jasper said a little slowly, the excitement is catching up on him causing him to slur his words together.

This was one of the things I loved about Jasper. No matter what was going on, he always tried to put a smile on everyone's face.

While the lady stomped away Jasper and I high-fived and busted out laughing. His head started to droop, bringing me back to reality. Back to this hell holewe have officially decided to call our life.

I turned away from him knowing it would only upset me further; making me want to get off this plane faster to get my tool. My tool that has helped me through everything I couldn't handle myself.

Needing to call for the attendant, I pushed the button over my head once again; wanting to know the answer to the question Jasper was suppose to ask earlier. When I saw someone else coming, a smile grew on my face knowing I wouldn't have to deal with the other girl.

"Yes, did you call?" The girl asked. She had red hair that flowed beautifully down to her mid-back. Her green eyes bore into mine waiting for a response. As I opened my mouth, she slowly become impatient and started clanking her foot.

What is wrong with these people lately? "I was wondering when we were going to land." I asked shyly.

"In about a half an hour or so. Anything else you want?" She asked, I guess she didn't like me, but what else is new.

I quickly shook my head and she walked off.

I looked over at Jasper once more and wish I hadn't.

Memories flashed through my head of things we could no longer do together. Like go to the movies and hang out with our friends. Or simply going grocery shopping for Renee.

Why did things like this have to happen to Jasper? It affects my life just the same, I'm the only one he has left. I know he doesn't mean to bring this type of pressure onto my life. He feels that he is supposed to be watching out for his little sister. I'm sixteen now, I can take care of myself.

Which back fires as him being eighteen and can do just the same. Hearing a ding I looked up and saw we had to buckle up, we were about to land. Looking over I made sure Jasper was still buckled from the beginning, which he was.

The lower I knew we got to the ground, the more and more butterflies filled my stomach. I haven't seen Charlie in about 14 years. We were not really given the chance to come see him, but lately, Renee would do anything to relieve the tension around the house.

We would have liked to visit him; there was no doubt in my mind that he would be a great dad to us. We never really tried to go visit because of the constant rain that seems to always fall. It just always makes me feel depressed to gaze up at the sky and see dark gray storm clouds.

When the plane hit the ground, Jasper began twitching his hand, trying to regain his control of his movements. His cataplexy (see below for definition) usually didn't last long. He seemed to have been totally relaxed, and was limp in his seat. He started to fall forward, so I gently pushed onto his chest, sitting him up in his chair. After a minute or two, he sat up straight and turned his head to smile at me.

He grabbed my hand in his and I squeezed back. We both stood when we were allowed to leave. He started grabbing our stuff out of the storage above our heads and started walking towards where Charlie was waiting for us.

I felt kind of bad, I wasn't carrying a thing. Trying to snatch them from him he made a quick right turn, obviously spotting Charlie. He wore the biggest smile on his face. I could easily tell where I got my brown hair and eyes. His laugh lines and crows feet were very noticeable when he was smiling so big.

Jasper and I walked hand-in-hand up to him.

"Bella, Jasper! Good to see the both of you!" Charlie said, giving us each one-armed hugs.

I internally cringed from him. I couldn't stand to be touched from anyone except Jasper. I always tried to put up a pretense so he wouldn't worry about me. Every time someone touched me, I saw Phil in the back of my mind swinging his hands at me. Striking me with a blind fury that was entirely unjustified.

"Nice to be back in Forks Dad." Jasper said, a small smile starting to show on his face.

"Let's go get your luggage, so you guys can get settled at the house." Charlie suggested.

We all nodded and went over to baggage claim. Nobody would let me carry anything as we walked over to the police cruiser.

Yes, you heard me right. Charlie was the chief of Police in Forks.

I opted to sit in the front, not wanting to sit behind the bars between the seats.

"Just so you know, school doesn't start for another two days. So you have those days off" Charlie informed us. I'm glad that we had a few days to settle in, because honestly, I didn't feel up to going to school and be the object of everyone's stares.

Charlie didn't try to make small talk during the drive from the airport in Port Angeles to Forks. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, instead it was peaceful.

When we finally arrived at the house, Jasper and Charlie each grabbed the luggage. Leaving me empty handed yet again. We walked into the small 3 bedroom, 1 bath house. It still looked as small as it did all those years ago. There wasn't a single thing different that I could notice.

Jasper and I helped each other unpack and just hung out in my room for the remainder of the day. Only going downstairs to get some of the pizza Charlie offered us. We weren't trying to avoid Charlie, we just needed our space to get settled and he didn't seem to mind. That was another thing I liked about him. He didn't feel the need to hover.

Once Jasper finally left to get some sleep for the night, I was left alone and finally let down the walls I tried to keep up around him. I curled up on my bed and just started letting everything go. I cried for everything that has happened to us in the past two years. I closed my eyes and saw Phil's face contorted into rage as he screamed at me.

I sat and reflected on what has happened in my life and let it suffocate me. I began hyperventilating at the thoughts that swirled around my head. I turned my head to shift my gaze over to my end table. I knew what I wanted to do, what I had to do.

Quickly, I reached over to the table and grabbed my razor blade. I didn't even think as I took it across my arm. I instantly felt relief as the pain flowed away like the blood on my arm. I felt numb all over, and it was the best feeling I could have experienced. I stumbled my way across the hall into the bathroom, first checking to make sure no one was in the hall.

Once there, I grabbed some tissue to stop the bleeding. I wrapped it in gauze and pulled my long sleeve over it. I walked back across the hall to my room and collapsed on my bed. Feeling both numb and disgusted with myself at the same time.

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**Narcolepsy: **a disabling disorder of sleep regulation that affects the control of sleep and wakefulness. It may be described as an intrusion of the dream sleep (called REM or rapid eye movement) into the waking state. No matter how much they sleep, they continue to experience a irresistible need to sleep

**cataplexy: **(loss of muscle tone) ranging from a slight buckling at the knees to a complete, "rag doll" limpness throughout the body. sudden, brief episodes of muscle weakness or paralysis brought on by strong emotions such as laughter, anger, surprise or anticipation

**XEdwardXxXLoverX: Just want to let everyone know that I and XxXGodsXxXMessengerXxX, neither have, or know anyone that has narcolepsy. Everything we write has been researched excessively before adding it to the story. Not everyone that has narcolepsy thinks like Jasper, and not everyones family is as stressed out as Bella is. We don't mean to offend anyone that knows someone, or may have this themselves. We both were up late on New Years and thought 'I WANT TO WRITE A STORY!!' If anyone was offended, we are really sorry and didnt mean to do so. :D**

**I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and PLEASE PRESS THE BIG BUTTON AND REVIEW!!**

**p.s. medical definitions above found at: sleepnet (dot) com (slash) narcolepsy  
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	2. Chapter 2

**XEdwardXxXLoverX: Hey everyone! Sorry this chapter took so long! We're trying to get this done fast, but its not working out so well. Its kinda hard to write this story, but we're trying. We know where we want the story to go, but we're just having trouble opening it up. Hopefully, once we get farther into it, the chapters will get easier to write :)**

**Disclaimer: We dont own twilight, but with the right amount of money, maybe we can buy it from Stephenie...actually I just got a call from her saying it wont happen :( darn it!!**

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**CHAPTER TWO**

**_Jasper_ **

Bella and I decided to part for the night to get some rest. It's ironic that I fall asleep most of the day, but I'm still so tired at night.

I know how much Bella worries about me. I've told her that I am fine over and over, but she doesn't listen. It's probably Phil's fault that she feels like this. If he would have just accepted my condition for what it was, then Bella wouldn't have had to protect me.

I still hate myself for that. The one time my sister ever really needed me was when I was incapable of doing anything to help. Even though as soon as I able to, I would jump up and throw the bastard off of her. I tried to do everything in my power to keep her safe, but I know I failed.

Sometimes at night I would hear her cries, but I know she doesn't want me to know she does that. So as hard as it is, I continue on with whatever I'm doing and pray that she can pull herself together.

Every sob I hear makes me want to kill myself because I know I caused it. If I wasn't so messed up, none of this would have happened. We could still be living happily with Renee. She would be able to hang out with her friends without worrying about me being left alone. I would be able to drive a car without the nagging thought that I could fall asleep and crash it. We would be able to live our lives like any other teenager, but because of me we couldn't.

I prayed that this move would help Bella to ease up on all her worries and finally have a life worth living. That was my last before I drifted off to sleep.

When I awoke from my slumber I felt extremely disorientated. The last thing I wanted to do was get up, but I knew I had to. I rolled over and sat up and popped in my medicine cocktail for the day.

I finally began to get out of my morning haze when I heard a faint whisper of my name coming from somewhere in the house. Inching my way towards the stairs, I heard Bella's timid laugh and a very loud booming sound. Slowly walking down the stairs I saw Bella, and the person that went with the 'booming sound'.

Fully showing myself inside the living room, I saw a guy around my age. He had curly dark brown hair and blue eyes, with a huge build to follow. Although, he seemed as though he wouldn't hurt a fly, I still was cautious about him.

"Oh Emmett, this is Jasper, my brother, he is a senior as well. And Jasper this is our neighbor Emmett." Bella introduced. I smiled towards her and once again looked over at Emmett.

"Would you guys like some breakfast? I'm just a little more then starved." Bella joked.

Emmett nodded enthusiastically while I just plainly nodded. As Bella walked away into the kitchen Emmett and I took a seat on the couch.

He had started talking about the football team and how he was on the offensive line…and I can feel myself nodding every once and awhile. I tried to fight the wave of exhaustion but knew it was a useless attempt.

I didn't know I was gone until I opened my eyes and felt like I wasn't able to move anything in my body. It was as if I was an empty void within myself. I could hear Emmett rambling on – with a confused edge to his voice –, feel the couch beneath me, and could see the floor ahead of me; but I couldn't move any part of my body.

Eventually Emmett stopped talking, and I guessed he was trying to figure out what was wrong with me. "Dude, are you okay?" He sounded puzzled, and that's understandable. How else would you sound when the person you're talking to just collapses within his seat?

After a few seconds I got the control back in my neck and lifted my head up and saw Emmett looking at me with a weird expression on his face. I knew he was attempting to figure out what was wrong with me.

I smiled as reassuringly as I could and said, "Yeah I'm fine. Just a little tired, is all."

He seemed to believe me.

I heard Bella call for breakfast so I walked into the kitchen with Emmett closely behind. He had a worried look on his face.

It quickly vanished once we entered the kitchen. The smell of eggs and bacon began to fill the air.

Emmett slammed himself into a chair with a plate in front of him. He wore a huge smile on his face waiting for his breakfast. I decided not to let Bella know what happened in the living room. She was so happy; I didn't want to ruin the mood.

We were in conversation for a while when I noticed a note on the fridge in Charlie's hand writing.

I got up and walked towards the fridge to read it.

_Morning guys. Sorry I had to work this morning, but I wanted to give you guys a house warming gift. I put some money into Jasper's account so you guys can at least get a decent car. Just go down to the shop. Emmett, your neighbor, shouldn't mind bringing you down._

"Okay Bella, Charlie's given us some money to get a car. Got anything in mind?" I asked plainly.

"Did he really!? Wow, um…I don't really know what exactly I want. We could just go look around." Bella finally decided.

"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I wanna drive!" Emmett said like a five year old wanting to go to Disney World.

I rolled my eyes and said sure. When we finished eating I walked upstairs, took a quick shower and got dressed.

I had to make sure that I got this done before noon so I could take my nap for the day. I didn't get to do that yesterday, which caused my mood when I woke up this morning.

We all climbed into Emmett's monster truck, it might as well have been with the size that it was, and drove down to the closest dealership. We all made pleasant conversation and Emmett seemed to be a really cool guy. He told us about his girlfriend who apparently has a big thing for cars, and that it really didn't matter if our car was crappy because she definitely wouldn't mind fixing it up. He told us what she looked like, and I couldn't picture a girl that looked like she did working on cars. He talked more about these two other people that were apparently his best friends. I was pretty excited about meeting all these people at school tomorrow.

After going through three different car dealerships, Bella and I finally found a car that we both agreed at a decent price.

It was a used '96 Honda Accord. It wasn't much, but it was better than what we have at the time, and we weren't even going to have to take up Emmett on his offer. Thankfully, we got this done at about 11:30 so I wouldn't end up falling asleep in front of Emmett. It's not that I'm ashamed of what I have, but if you don't have to know, then I rather you didn't.

Following Emmett, Bella drove the car back to the house and we all went our separate ways for the day after Bella thanked Emmett for his help.

I let Bella know I'd be in my room as I climbed the stairs. Once I got there, I took off my shirt and fell onto my bed.

After lying on my bed for a few minutes I realized I couldn't move at all. I internally sighed. It was yet another symptom reappearing in my life. I tried to move my arms but I knew it was a vain attempt. My sleep paralysis would just have to ride itself out.

Later on, I think I might have fallen asleep, but I still couldn't move my body. I just continued to lie there. A couple minutes passed and I thought I saw a bug crawl across my hand. The longer I laid there, the more beetles I felt on my skin.

I wanted to jump up and get them off of me but I couldn't. I was stuck and helpless. I couldn't even call for Bella's help. I felt so pathetic.

The beetles continued to make their journey around my body, and then they started to bite me. It hurt like hell, but I couldn't do anything about it. I tried to force the air out of my lungs to call for help but I just couldn't. Eventually I got the control back in my body and I tried to jump up onto my legs, but fell over in the process.

I was screaming as I tried to get the bugs off of me. Bella came scrambling into my room to see what my problem was. She stood at the door looking confused for a second before realizing what was wrong, no doubt remembering times I had woken up like this in the past.

She got down on the ground next to me and told me, "Jasper, please calm down. Nothings wrong I promise. It's just your mind playing tricks on you. There's nothing there."

This continued on for a few minutes until the feeling finally left. Another part of this condition that I grew to hate. The damn hallucinations that made every thing seem so real. I should have known by now that it wasn't, but it really felt like there were bugs all over me. I could see them and feel them and I hated it.

When she noticed that I calmed down, she pulled me into a hug before standing up and leaving the room.

I always felt so dependent on her and I hated it. I didn't like the feeling of having to rely on anyone, especially my baby sister.

**_Bella_**

It had been about twenty minutes since Jasper's hallucination.

I was sitting in the living room reading _Wuthering__ Heights_ when all of a sudden I hear screaming. Immediately, I threw the book out of my lap and scrambled up to Jasper's room, but not before hitting my leg on the table.

When I finally got into his room, I saw him lying on the floor hitting himself with a frantic look in his eyes. It took me a second to realize what was wrong. He didn't usually have hallucinations, but when he did, they were horrible.

I knelt down in front of him to try to reassure him, "Jasper, please calm down. Nothings wrong I promise. It's just your mind playing tricks on you. There's nothing there."

I gently pushed the hair that was plastered to his face out of his eyes. I knew that there was nothing I could do, so I continued to comfort him as best as I could until it went away.

Once it finally ended, I made sure he had calmed down and I gave him a quick hug and left. It had always made me sad to see him like that, but what was there really to do?

I reentered the living room and started to finish up my reading for the day. I glanced over at the clock, and it read 7:00 p.m. Jasper still hadn't come out his room, and I figured he wasn't going to at this point. I made Charlie a quick dinner for when he got home and took a shower.

Today was a very stressful day. I walked into my room with one thing in mind, the one thing that for a few minutes makes the pain go away. And that's all I really even need. Just a few minutes of relief, relief of all the stress I receive in a day.

Picking up the razor blade, I took a deep breath. Slowly sliding it across my arm; I closed my eyes feeling the pain go away as the blood slowly slid down my arm.

As I put the blade away I quickly and quietly walked to the bathroom. I walked up to the sink and washed my arm off.

Sighing I went back into my room, and went to sleep.

I awoke the next morning to the smell of eggs…with a mix of something I couldn't quite place. I slowly made my way down the steps and into the kitchen to see a very messy Jasper attempting to cook breakfast.

The other smell that I couldn't place earlier was burnt eggs and bacon in the garbage.

"Hey Jasper, you need some help?" I asked wanting to have an edible breakfast this morning.

"No…Why would you think that?" He asked with his back to me.

"I don't know, maybe just the fact that you wasted most of our eggs and bacon trying to cook."

He then turned around with a look of shock, and poorly hidden amusement, written all over his face. "Whenever you cook something that goes bad, you don't see me asking if you need help."

"Because if you tried, you wouldn't even be able to anything helpful." I defended, walking over to him to see exactly what he had.

"Done." He explained grabbing two plates. He motioned for me to sit, and I complied taking my chair. He filled my plate and his with eggs and bacon, and sat down across from me.

I picked up my fork and began to slowly eat what he had attempted to make. It wasn't too bad.

"You about ready to leave?" I asked trying to make small talk. He just nodded his head.

We grabbed our bags and I drove us to school. Ready to face anything that it threw in our faces.

**Hey guys, I really hope you enjoyed the chapter. 8D And we're terribly sorry for the long update. Alot has been going on in this house hold, so this story was the last thing on the list of things to do. 8D Please review because that is so much appericated. 8).  
~XxXGodsXxXMessengerXxX~  
Revelations 22:12-13  
**


	3. Authors Note: Sorry

**Hey everybody, I know you haven't heard from me in a while, so I just wanted to let you know I haven't forgotten about this story. A lot has happened and I just haven't felt in the mood to write anything. A few weeks ago, my step-dad's cancer got worse and he ended up passing away. So a lot of things have changed for me recently and right now, I just don't feel like this story is the most important thing for me to be dealing with.**

**Eventually I will come back to this story, but for now, I'm going to be putting it on hold.**

**Sorry to all my faithful readers**

**Eventually, I will come back, and it will be with a bang!!**

**-XEdwardXxXLoverX-**

**&**

**-XxXGodsXxXMessengerXxX-  
_Revelations 23:12-13_**


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